REVISION:
1. Why this work consist of only 5 000 words? My dissertation needs to be up to 15 000 and this is what I paid for! When I was selecting the length of the paper I chose 54 pages because it showed me that it will be around 15 000 word and this is the amount that I expect to have! I hope that you will write the remaining 10 000 words so I will be able to use it.
2. I also chose a Master Distinction; as a level I am expecting but sometimes I simply had a feeling that the actual level of the paper is rather different. Was your work proofread after you finished it? I dont think so. I witness structure mistakes (very long sentence), spelling mistakes, shallow vocabulary and some words I just dont understand like: gut feeling or triability. You can also find some really strange sentences: carbon monoxide emitted by green houses or in chapter 4: youth self help groups (page 32), looks to me like you copy it and forget to edit it. I really hope it is not the case here.
3. Please make an improvement in the following chapters:
Abstract:
1. carbon monoxide emitted by green houses???? this doesnt seems right to me.
2. Please improve structure and vocabulary
3. Please write more about Chasm Theory
Introduction:
1. Structure – sentences are too long
2. Lack of references in text
3. Research questions very general, I asked you to wait with them so we will develop them together, why you havent do it this way?
Literature review:
1. gut feeling??? – what do you mean by this?
2. triability???
3. Please write conclusions
4. Nothing about environmentally friendly businesses? please write about it.
Methodology:
1. Very short chapter – please improve it
2. No indication about philosophical part (positivist vs. interpretivism), please write about it
3. Why not SPSS?
Chapter 4 and 5:
1. What is the name of the chapters?
2. Terrible data presentation!
3. tertiary center???
4. No explanation of a graphs, charts or tables, please improve it
5. Members = customers?
6. youth self help groups????????????????????????????????????
7. Chapter 5 definitely too short, please write more
I hope you will improve everything I asked here, in two weeks, and write more in the aspects that I emphasize.
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Please start with an underpinning of chasm theory and develope the literature review. After each chapter i will send the work to my supervisor. After it we will proceed to research questions, hypotheses and method.
For any questions please contact me on email.