This is a very good attempt at your first version of your policy memo. Remember in your executive summary you want to wow your elected official and get them to continue to read the memo. This section will likely need to be re-written. Also want to convey exactly what it is you are seeking. Are you asking this elected official to sponsor a bill? Or to support a bill that is already in existence. If this is a state bill, are any other states having this legisation already. If so, want to discuss this in the body of your paper.
Also, what are the major medical organizations saying about this? Do they have a position paper or policy memo on this topic? Does organized nursing or The National CNM or State CNM have a position paper or policy memo? If so, want to include some key points in your issues section. Who is also in opposition? Want to include some of the opposition statements.
Thank you. Dr. Green
I uploaded my classmate s suggested improvements, no changes yet:
There were a few grammatical and spelling errors, so watch for those. I understand what you are trying to achieve but I think you are a little vague. Perhaps if you were to research individuals receiving an abortion, such as if the majority were young teenagers who are largely uneducated as to possible repercussions, both physical and psychological. Maybe you should consider not only required ultrasound but also counseling and education? For example is a girl was to go to Planned Parenthood maybe she should receive consultation on how this could physically and psychologically impact her. I don’t mean scare tactics, but I do mean informed decision-making. Also, who is going to foot the bill for these ultrasounds and how much will it cost?? This is something you should mention