As you see the file I uploaded, you can find the way how to revise this paper. I hope you revise everything my instructor mentioned on the papers.
basically he mentioned: 1. change tile and make it clearer, and representative of point of view 2.The tone of thesis is very factual and expository, make it express a clearer focus of view and he pointed the themes are mismatching to anlaytical points, My themes are foreign investment, export labor market and social welfare. in background information paragraph, he mentioned I should arrage these facts chronologically.
and please make every topic sentence clearer and follow themes. right before conclusion there is one paragraph should be discussion paragraph but he said this paragraph said it sounds like repeating about labour market but I tried to make it discussion, I still don’t know what is the problem so please make this paragraph seems to be disccusion paragraph. please this paper be clearer and more professional, this is my last chance to turn it in